Transparency

I’m going to take a break from talking about photography to just be a little transparent tonight.  (I did book a client today though! woo hoo!)  As a warning, some of you may get bored.  I won’t get offended so don’t worry.  Alright, here it goes:

Have you ever had a best friend?  I don’t mean like “BFFs!” and then a year later you’re not even talking.  We’ve all been there.  No, I mean a real best friend.. a true friend – someone who has literally always been there through the best and the worst.  Yes, I’m married.  Yes, my husband is my best friend, but I’m of the opinion that every woman should have at least one best girlfriend.  At the end of the day, my husband is not a woman, and there are things he is never going to understand and probably shouldn’t.

(A.D.D. moment:  I wish I could blog as I drive.  All of these thoughts emerged as I was driving home tonight and they sounded so much better while I was in the car)

The point is, I’m fortunate and blessed enough to have a real best friend.  Today she finally decided where she was moving and I’m so happy for her.  She’s wanted this for a very long time and I know she’s going to do great things with her life and be successful because she’s just awesome all around.  She told me today at work and, you know, after she left my desk, I had a really selfish moment.  I cried.  For a good half hour.  Luckily my allergies are really bad today and I had been sniffling since the morning so no one thought anything of it.  Then I thought, geez I’m being immature, why am I crying?  Shouldn’t I be happy for her?  Then taking a step back I realized I can truly say I’m genuinely happy and excited for her.  So why the tears?  Duh, I’m going to miss her.  More than she will ever know.  But this is why I will miss her:

In all the friendships I’ve had, why does this one stand out the most for me?  Why is this one so different than the best friend I had in high school who I don’t even talk to anymore?  Well, she may not realize it or see it like this, but we’ve grown together in so many things.  Above all, spiritually.  I have never had such a God-led friendship.  Ever.  We’re just able to sit down and talk for hours about what He’s doing in our lives.

As different as we are, our lives have been pretty parallel to one another.  We’ve had successes together, sometimes she’s fallen and I’ve picked her up, sometimes I’ve fallen and she’s picked me up (this one happens more), and she’s even fallen with me.  She’s seen me at my absolute worst, but has been the only left there willing to still stand by me after everyone left my side.  Never judging me, always loving me, but telling me like it is. Yes, we’ve had our falling outs.  Times when we went months without spending time together or just not being that close.  Times where we were just mad at each other and made nasty, sarcastic remarks about one another.  What friendship hasn’t?

Had I not met her, I probably still would have been this angry, introverted person with no desire to change.  Yet, she brought out another side of me that I didn’t know I had.  She taught me not to take life so seriously because it’s short.  She taught me it’s ok to be spontaneous and not plan everything out.  It’s also ok to stir up a little trouble sometimes.  She brought out a fashion sense in me that I didn’t know I had! (it’s not the best but it’s a lot better than before!)  For crying out loud, had she not volunteered to model for me, I probably would have never found my niche with photography, or it would’ve taken a lot longer.  There’s so much more that would probably take hours upon hours to write, but I can’t find the words to describe the impact this friendship has had in my life.

I’m sure she probably won’t even read this because it’s way too long.  Lol.  But it doesn’t matter.  I hope she knows what she means to me and that no one could ever take her place.

In conclusion (lol jk!).. but seriously.. I realized I wasn’t crying because I’m afraid she might forget about me or find a new best friend.  She’s really good at making friends so I have no doubt that she’ll get another best friend up there.  She should.  Life moves on.  (wow I just made myself cry again. Haha!) I know she will always be my lifelong friend.. I was sad because I realized she won’t be a 15 minute drive away anymore.  I won’t see her or talk to her every day.  I can’t just pop up at her door whenever I want to just get away for a while or do whatever.  And I was also sad because this is all just 2 months away… and that will go by in the blink of an eye.  I love her to death, though.  I know there won’t be another friendship like this one.. but I don’t really want there to be.

Ay, I’m so dramatic.

 

Image

Our model faces.. open, tight, tilt..blowwww. 😉

 

oh yeah, follow her blog! She’s more interesting than I am 🙂 fashionandjesus.wordpress.com

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2 thoughts on “Transparency

  1. You are blessed to have someone that has enriched your life. Friendships like that are there for a lifetime.

    ” At the end of the day, my husband is not a woman, and there are things he is never going to understand and probably shouldn’t”. LOL this is how I feel when my wife wants me to go shopping with her. When I end up going she just gets mad that I don’t find enjoyment trying on clothes or looking at jewelry or handbags. I tell her she needs to go with a friend :-).

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